“I believe the children are our future”
How many of us dedicate time every week to our wellbeing? I’m sure many of us have the aspiration every Monday and then meetings, children, dogs, life admin gets in the way. With summer on the way out and the countdown to Christmas imminent (we’ll be hearing Mariah in no time), this is a chance to stop and take stock of the whirlwind that has been the past two years. Your wellbeing has likely taken a back seat during this time as it has been a case of getting by, be that due to job challenges, home schooling, not able to get that summer holiday R&R in or managing mental health that have become negatively impacted due to the ‘unprecedented circumstances.’
As a holistic therapist and associate of POINT3 Wellbeing, I encourage everyone to invest in their wellbeing through the method that works personally for them, be that mindfulness, movement or holistic therapies. Our wellbeing is intrinsically linked to our mental health. If an area of our life is out of whack, then this will have an impact on how we feel mentally, and potentially physically too. With a “new report commissioned by the British Beauty Council…..[finding] that the introduction of touch therapies within the NHS could reduce mental health problems by 10%, potentially reducing sick days by 1.76 million,” holistic therapies are a great way to support your wellbeing and mental health. But what about children? We are happy to treat ourselves to a complementary therapy now and then, but why are we not doing the same for our children?
Children’s Society Good Childhood Report found that ‘an estimated 306,000 10 – 15 year olds in the UK are unhappy with their lives.” With childhood wellbeing, in particular the early years, having an impact on how we develop as adults, we need to make sure we are putting the right tools in place early on, to prevent it becoming a case of ‘too little, too late’.
As a mother of two young children, I am acutely aware of the impact the global pandemic has had on children from a social development point of view, which will in turn have an impact on their mental health and wellbeing. Although awareness in this space is getting better, resources are being stretched and there just isn’t enough professional support available. “Right now, children's well-being is at a ten-year low. When problems start, they can't get help. When things get too much, they are put on a waiting list.”
With the professional teams being put under so much pressure, there are ways we can help support our own children’s (and children within our lives) wellbeing at home. Dr Hazel Harrison (clinical psychologist), a guest on BBC Teach’s The Growth Mindset and Wellbeing Lesson, created five steps to promote wellbeing.
BE KIND - This is the most important life lesson (in my opinion) for children. Be kind to others, to yourself and to every other living creative in this world. Getting my two-year-old to be kind to the snail she is saying hello to or getting my kids to always say their please and thank yous. Always be kind. This is far more important to me personally than if they are an A star student. “Research shows us that when we’re kind to others, we not only boost each recipient’s wellbeing; it tends to have the same effect on our own sense of wellness too.” One of the reasons for this is because our bodies release Oxytocin when we do something nice, be that an act of kindness or generosity. Oxytocin in the words of Simon Sinek, is “the warm and fuzzies, unicorns and rainbows” in our body. In his video ‘The Power of Kindness’ he talks about how when we do an act of kindness or generosity for another, with no expectation of anything in return, we release Oxytocin. The recipient of our kindness releases Oxytocin and any witnesses of this act of kindness will also release Oxytocin. The amazing thing is that the more Oxytocin you have in your body, the more likely you are to do more acts of kindness. Therefore kindness breeds kindness…..so why don’t we all commit to do at least three acts of kindness a day, and the pyramid or ripple effect of this will be phenomenal.
BE YOURSELF – “Helping children to recognise their character strengths is a great way to build their confidence and appreciate the uniqueness they bring to the world.” As adults, we get increasingly better at this. We learn to stop caring (as much) about what others think and just be ourselves. Em_Clarkson, the ‘Professional Oversharer’ sums up some great tips for those people pleasers who still haven’t nailed it in her recent Reel. Something quite challenging to do for children when you are developing both mentally and physically on a daily basis… but if we can encourage children to appreciate their uniqueness, this will help support their wellbeing.
BE GRATEFUL – Have a simple gratitude conversation before dinner. What are you grateful for from today? It can be as simple as seeing a ladybird on the walk to school. I highly recommend The 6 minute diary as a great tool for adults to use, but for children simply talking about the things they are grateful for over dinner, or when doing stories at bedtime, can be extremely beneficial.
BE MINDFUL – “Set a timer for 10 minutes and challenge the children to draw something they can see.” I absolutely love colouring with my daughter. I find it extremely therapeutic and it allows me to be present, in the moment and mindful…although she gets frustrated when I find it easier to remain in the lines than she does; which brings me nicely onto the final point.
BE RESILIENT – To bounce back when you are knocked down. Reframe failures so that you learn from them rather than see them as something negative. At POINT3 Wellbeing, we like to talk about FAIL as an acronym for First Attempt In Learning. It helps to reframe the originally seen FAIL into an opportunity for growth. Making mistakes helps us improve. We should encourage and help children to develop a growth mindset – “the belief that our abilities and intelligence can develop with practise, feedback and effort.”
Nothing here is rocket science. This is all pretty straightforward stuff, but it is amazing how often the simple things, the easy wins, get forgotten about. I challenge you to take one of the above actions and implement it into your life when you interact with your children, friend’s children, nieces, nephews, grandkids, children through your work. In the words of Whitney, ‘I believe the children are our future’, so let’s make sure we are doing everything we can to give them the best start when it comes to their wellbeing.
